Coffin Fits

Maybe I tend to give people too much credit, but it would never occur to me that a customer in, say, a mammoth Swedish home furnishing store would choose to have a seat and take a dump in a display toilet.

But the mammoth Swedish home furnishing store does pretty well for itself, so the powers that be behind its success must know their shit (so to speak) when they insert a sign into the opening of a toilet that sits in the middle of a floor crowded with shoppers reminding passersby that the inviting little porcelain structure is there for display only. I mean, seriously, I had to pee like nobody's business when I approached the pretend bathroom and it wouldn't have occurred to me in a million years to lift my skirt right there and relieve myself. Again, though, maybe I give people too much credit. Maybe most folks wouldn't see things the way I do.

Come to think of it, most folks don't see things the way I do. And I mean that as a compliment to most folks, since I'm fully aware that my view of the world can be a bit twisted. Just ask my daughter, who was on the verge of killing me yesterday in the mammoth Swedish home furnishing store when I couldn't bring myself to like any of the beds she picked out for her new apartment, because for some reason, to me, they all looked like coffins. Like I said. Twisted.

Twisted or not, though, I pretty much destroyed any hope she had of purchasing a bed there, so off we went to spend more money than we would have in the mammoth Swedish store on a bed that wouldn't spook her every night. I liked the new furniture store anyway; there were no toilets on the floor, so I didn't have to feel nervous that I would suddenly stumble upon some guy "whippin' it out" or, worse still, settling in with a newspaper.

Yep, I give people way too much credit. Twisted.