Born to Run (My Life)

Twenty-two years ago today, my life was forever altered by the birth of my first child. I've been a mother for less than half my life, but I can't remember being anything else.

Which didn't make her hurricane-like arrival in my house yesterday any less jarring. She is home for Easter break, and she has exploded into my daily life, as she always does, with great fanfare and a seemingly endless trail of stuff. She is fastidious -- or so she says -- about the common areas in her apartment at school, but the moment she arrives in the house she grew up in my blissfully uncluttered kitchen becomes strewn with shoes and purses and empty cracker boxes and opened mail and various and sundry dishes. I wouldn't have it any other way. Well, I would, but I know I won't, and that's okay.

When my oldest child walks into a room -- any room; not just my kitchen -- you can't help but notice she's there. Just shy of five foot two, she somehow seems larger than life. Maybe it's her ready smile, maybe it's the clunky heels; whatever it is, it's difficult not to feel as if you're stuck in her shadow when she's around. She is a powerful presence.

Even Manny and Leo, both of whom have been afflicted this week with a worrisome case of lethargy, sprang off their lazy perches to greet her when she arrived. She called me in a panic; one of Manny's eyes was sealed shut, and no amount of hot compresses would pry it open. Manny was unfazed, too excited by her arrival to be bothered by a somewhat disturbing permanent wink. What bothered my daughter the most was not the state of Manny's eye (I think she knew, deep down, it was probably not life threatening). What bothered her the most was how grossed out she was trying to dissolve the goo with a moist towel. "If I can't deal with crap in my dog's eye, what kind of mother will I be?" I smiled.

Twenty-two years and one day ago I probably would not have been as poised as I am today about canine eye boogers, and I certainly would never have imagined how many dirty diapers I would change without blinking an eye. Or how much my life would suddenly be about someone other than myself. I assured my daughter that she would, one day, do just fine.

I am proud of all her accomplishments, and hope she realizes all her dreams. Especially the one about being a mom.

Happy birthday sweetie!