The Year They Cancelled Thanksgiving

A child has been born, and a turkey has been saved.

We knew that my Connecticut cousins were expecting their first grandchild some time around Thanksgiving. Kinda cool, sure, but Thanksgiving with the cousins in Connecticut is sacred, and some baby nobody had even met yet was not going to interfere with our annual family ritual. Or so we thought. After all, it wasn't our fault the baby was to be born in San Francisco.

So for at least a week now, we've all been on high baby alert. Excited to hear of the arrival of our newest family member. Excited to hear whether it's a boy or girl, since the parents have refused to accommodate our curiosity and instead selfishly decided to be surprised. Excited to be reassured that mom and baby are healthy and we could indeed get to our feast with clear heads and the usual gusto.

Well, I've heard that becoming a grandparent is something indescribable, a feeling that takes you completely by surprise and transforms you into a person you never dreamed you could become. And so it was, yesterday, when my usually level headed cousins, upon hearing the baby was on the way, were welcomed into the club of the single minded adorers, folks who just seem to have no perspective. "The baby's coming today. Thanksgiving is cancelled. I'm sorry. Call me," was the email I received in the morning. WHAT??? Conflicted doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. Marginalized. Abandoned. Remarkably hungry.

Really. Really? What does a little baby have that we don't have? All the kid's gonna do is lay around eating and passing gas. Okay, come to think of it, not so different from the rest of us, but what about all the scintillating conversation? The gossip? The inappropriate jokes? Boy are my cousins gonna be disappointed when they realize what a waste all that non-advance-purchase airfare was!

Baby or no baby, my family knows how to overcome adversity, and nothing will stop us from having our annual gorge. The rest of us, the downtrodden, the forgotten, the starving ones, will convene in New York and stuff our faces regardless. And I suppose we'll toast both the new baby and the New England turkey that was suddenly spared.

By the way: It's a boy!!!