I admitted to a friend the other day that I am enjoying my job selling yoga clothes. "That's nice." His condescending smile made his next comment unnecessary. "You know you'll have to get a real job soon."
True enough, but I still felt like smacking him. Doesn't being thoroughly exhausted after several consecutive days on my feet pretending to be a pleasant human being qualify as real work? Sure, it's not rocket science, but let's face it, I'm not a rocket scientist. And it's certainly more challenging than lying in bed all day. Which would definitely be my first choice.
It could be worse -- I could be working in Starbucks. Yesterday morning, the two overly chipper baristas (I realized later they must have just been delirious) were giggling about the fantastic employment they had landed with their fancy psych degrees.They wondered if a PhD would enable them to advance to positions of greater responsibility -- maybe groom them for taking out the garbage. I have to admit I find it kind of reassuring to have a couple of psych experts serving me in the morning -- brewers with benefits. You never know when I'll be on the verge of a psychotic episode, in need of more than just a shot of caffeine.
Come to think of it I probably don't have sufficient education to merit a position behind the counter at Starbucks. Even without having taken more than one psych class in college, though, I have been known to offer up a bit of counseling to my faithful customers. "You are beautiful," I tell them when they start to obsess about a bulge here and there. "Camel toe is not the way to recapture your elusive femininity," I tell them when they desperately try to squeeze into a smaller size. "The snottier you are, the more sickeningly sweet I will become, and I will also crumple up your merchandise when I put it in the bag." This I don't necessarily tell them, but every once in a while a little encouragement in the behavior modification department is appropriate.
Rocket science -- no, but there's definitely a bit of social science required in retail. My advice may be amateurish, but it sure beats real work.
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