Daze of Penitence

Sometimes it's difficult to tell the difference between indigestion and introspection. The two often go hand in hand, particularly for some of us this time of year.

We are in the throes of the "Days of Awe," those ten days beginning with Rosh Hashanah and ending with Yom Kippur, when we Jews are supposed to reflect on our sins and repent. Penitence is easy, at least before there's time to put our promises to the test; reflection can be a bitch. It's no wonder so many of us feel such a nagging discomfort in the pit of our bellies this week, an uneasiness that just doesn't seem to quit. Or could it simply be too many matzoh balls, too many helpings of brisket?

To be on the safe side, I reflect, I introspect, and I try to sort through the items in my self-critique to determine what's valid and what's maybe a bit too harsh. If everyone ended up with a list like the one I start out with, the Book of Life would have a lot of empty pages. As it is, too many folks have died this year way ahead of their time, and I can't for the life of me figure out why. I'm not quite sure religion -- mine or anyone else's -- can offer up a satisfactory explanation.

Which is why I can't help but be skeptical about the whole cause and effect theory linking a week of introspection and penitence to another full year of life. It just doesn't add up, not when within a period of six months in my neck of the woods alone a fifteen year old, a forty-five year old, and several fifty-somethings have been here one minute and gone the next. Talk about indigestion.

Of course, a little introspection and penitence can be good for all of us, whether it lands us on a page in that mysterious book or not. I just don't think we need to get our stomachs all upset about our inescapable and uniquely human failings, especially when decisions about life and death seem so random. I think the best we can do is acknowledge our sins, vow to do better, and move forward.

And if the discomfort persists, next year go easy on the kugel.