After getting the necessary business of pointing out to me everything I've ever done wrong out of the way, she got down to the necessary business of quizzing me on everything about the weekend -- no doubt looking to highlight anything I might do wrong in the near future or that might go wrong because, frankly, I deserve it. So she dove right into the sleeping arrangements, none of which interested her, of course, except for where my soon-to-be-ex spouse and I were bedding down for the next few nights.
I answered her questions as clearly and as loudly as I could, hoping to stave off any confusion or, god forbid, follow-up questions. Yeah right. When I explained -- as curtly as possible, which is extremely curtly, since that's how I routinely deal with my mother -- that I was sharing a room with our daughter and he was sharing a room with our son -- her face scrunched immediately into the dreaded "I don't really need clarification but here's a chance to rile my ungrateful daughter up" look.
"You mean you and he are not sleeping together?" She seemed incredulous, although I'm pretty sure she is aware of our current situation.
"No mom, we are not." I was proud of myself for rejecting my initial, knee jerk response, which, naturally, would have been "what the fuck is wrong with you???" After all, it's rude to answer a question with a question.
"Well why not?" I was rendered speechless. Well, for a few moments, until I took advantage of her deafness to rattle off every expletive I could think of.
But this is new territory for all of us, and sometimes it's just tough to navigate. Maybe I'm being too harsh. Yeah right.
Hang in there. It's a different generation. Until the divorce is final, you're still married in their eyes. Too bad you can't whisper those expletives in her ear!
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