Arnold the Pig

Has anybody ever seen Arnold Ziffel, the pet pig from the 1960's sitcom Green Acres, and Arnold Schwarzenegger together in the same room? I think not. Hmm.

Both Arnolds are versatile men of disguises, boasting countless incarnations in their long careers. Arnold the Pig (and here I am referring to Ziffel) carried a lunch box in his snout to school and rose above his porcine genetics and his virtual inability to grasp the English language to become a popular and beloved figure, able to pretty much do as he pleased no matter how improbable. Like Ziffel, Schwarzenegger carried his lunch box in his snout to school (well, to the Governor's Mansion), rising above his somewhat superhuman genetics and his own virtual inability to grasp the English language to become a popular and beloved figure, able to pretty much do as he pleased no matter how improbable. Ziffel and Schwarzenegger one and the same? You tell me. Do the math.

This morning's news was filled with stories of men behaving badly. The former bodybuilder/actor/governor, as it turns out, was also the father of two. Two families, that is. Which would be totally fine had he not been married to one woman while pretending not to be the father of the other woman's child. The IMF chief went from evenings at the posh Sofitel in New York City to an evening in a cramped cell at the dreaded Rikers Island prison, accused of sexually assaulting a hotel maid. Then there's "the Donald" of course, deciding to relinquish his threatened bid for the presidency of the greatest nation on earth, choosing instead to focus on the much more important work of Celebrity Apprentice. I suppose he's not so much a man behaving badly as a man behaving like an arrogant buffoon. Ya gotta love "the Donald."

To be fair, women behave badly too. I've certainly been known to get into my share of trouble. And there are few buffoons more arrogant than Sarah Palin; let's give credit where credit is due. But Arnold the Pig (and here I refer to the ex-governor) was holding on to a pretty big and juicy secret for ten years while he held himself out to be a rather upstanding citizen-in-chief, and that's something you just don't see women getting away with too often. Ya gotta love Arnold.

When all is said and done, I very much doubt Arnold will have to spend the rest of his days with a big scarlet "A" emblazoned on his massive chest. He will lay low until the dust settles, and then he will just grab his lunch box in his snout and trot off to whatever lucrative opportunity is next on his list. In the immortal words of The Terminator, he'll "be back."