Armed and Dangerous and Thirsty

Slow news day. The media frenzy about the storm of the century bearing down on D.C. resulted in the complete shutting down of D.C. for a day that was completely devoid of snow. A breaking story suggests we might soon find out the date on which the conclave of Cardinals will convene to begin chit chatting about the identity of the new Pope. I'm on the edge of my seat. And Rand Paul had to pee. Note to self: always go to the bathroom before a thirteen hour filibuster.

One can only hope that the apparent absence of anything interesting to report led terrorists and other garden variety psychopaths to stop watching or reading before they found out about the new TSA rules loosening restrictions on what folks can bring on an airplane. It's official; you can now bring weapons on. Not just the dubious weapons like hockey sticks (I'd like to meet the person coordinated enough to get a full swing going in the two inches of space not occupied by seats and excess carry-ons that folks bring on to avoid the exorbitant bag check fee) and pool cues (which I suppose could be used to poke a flight attendant in the butt when she refuses to move the damn cart for a second so a passenger can go pee), but knives of all shapes and sizes. Well, small knives, to be fair; you know, the kinds that can be concealed and take somebody completely by surprise. Machetes and three ton medieval swords are still not allowed. Seems reasonable.

And, thank goodness, water, bottled water, is still prohibited. So what if a lunatic who cannot spend a few hours without a sharp blade close at hand might be sitting next to you while you try to doze. We can rest easy knowing his water bottle was purchased at a premium from a vendor inside security, or, better still, we can keep sleeping, secure in the knowledge that he couldn't afford a water and won't be getting up constantly to pee.

My guess (and, I admit, my fear) is there are some knife wielders out there who are not exactly boy scouts who have managed to catch the story on the news. And I bet they're already busy polishing and sharpening their blades. To be sure, they pose less of a threat without the bottled water, but everybody has to pee at some point so if they're in a window seat they can still, at the very least, be a royal pain in the ass. But who cares? North Korea has just threatened nuclear warfare. For a change. Again, not really news, but if there's anything worse than a knife wielding and very thirsty soul seeking some attention on an airplane it's a North Korean with a finger poised near the missile launch button.

I wonder what the TSA is going to do when the NRA starts getting huffy about all this. If you're going to allow small knives, why not small guns? What's the difference? They're easily concealed and people who own them feel secure when they're close at hand. It's not as if a pearl handled pistol is dangerous. It's certainly no water bottle!

TSA? NRA? WTF?