Almond Joy

Shhhhh. My amygdala is sleeping. Yes, that's right, my amygdala. An almond shaped cluster of nuclei buried deep within my brain. It's the emotional, overwrought part. And I would have thought that part would be right out there on the frontal lobe -- at least in my case. 


I learned of this crazy little cluster of cells when I was reading an article about better ways to relieve stress. Now I know you'll find this hard to believe, but highly paid experts have determined that working out or building something or socializing are much better stress relievers, in the long run, than donuts or martinis. Who woulda thunk it?


Okay, so what? Who gives a shit about the long run when stress is making your whole body shake and your breath quicken and your heart race and you can't shake the feeling that you are about to burst into tears? Give me a Krispy Kreme or a shot of tequila any day. Even the highly paid experts admit that an emergency dose of sugar or alcohol actually quiets that damn amygdala, at least temporarily. If you want to worry about the long run, that's what tomorrow is for. Fiddle dee dee.


I am fairly confident there are other experts out there (or maybe it's "old wives") who say everything is fine, in moderation. Perfect -- I can do moderation. This morning I limited myself to two chocolate croissants, and, no matter what time zone I'm in, I NEVER start drinking before noon central time. If I head west, what can I say? Booze for breakfast is fair game. 


Even though I am certainly no expert -- at anything, come to think of it -- I think it's fair to say that stress relief is kind of an individual thing. A good game of tennis worked for me yesterday, at least in the short term, and the gallon of ice cream I ate later kept my amygdala drowsy for a while longer. For North Korea a good old fashioned missile launch does the trick. Even if it doesn't really work out so well. Just the thought of it must have kept an entire government's worth of amygdalas at bay. And looking forward to some future nuclear launch? Those little almond shaped nuclei will be sleeping like babies. 


So I'm taking the experts' suggestions under advisement. But I remain comforted just knowing that a box of Krispy Kremes and a jug of cheap wine is always close by.