Triple Cookie Fudge Sunday

I cancelled a date last night; I told the guy a friend's mom had died (true), and I had to pay a condolence call (sort of true). By the time I should have been sharing a cocktail with this poor unsuspecting soul who was certain he could make me laugh, I had already paid my condolence call and was contentedly in my sweats watching television and eating a fabulous new flavor of ice cream.

My rule of thumb is one polite excuse; when the guy keeps trying to get me to reschedule for every night this week, I lose interest in being nice. I'm too superstitious to claim things like friends' dying relatives unless there's some truth, and I figure even the most persistent guy will eventually get the hint. But Mr. "I can make you laugh" is relentless in trying to pen in a rain date. Shit.

Maybe I'm setting myself up for failure, but I've decided to set the bar pretty high for anyone seeking to drag me away from my ice cream and my couch for a date. I either have to roll on the floor laughing at something he says, or get one of those inexplicable little head to toe tingles when I look at his picture. The young studs tend to make me cringe rather than tingle, and the ones my age, well, let's just say I have yet to feel so much as a slight itch. Let's face it, if the picture -- presumably of the best face the guy can put forward -- makes my shoulders sag, the in person rendezvous is bound to be a crushing disappointment.

So back to the laughing angle. The self proclaimed comedian I cancelled on last night had offered only a murky picture of himself surrounded by several smiling women. I asked him what he had done to make them all look so happy. So many opportunities for a witty response, but he didn't take the bait. How can I help but be skeptical about his claim that he will make me laugh?

So ice cream and the couch it was, with a little laundry thrown in just so I could feel useful. And ice cream and the couch it will continue to be. A few more months of this and I'll be rolling on the floor, all right, but I doubt it'll be with laughter.