Sunday, March 13, 2011

It's a Wonder-Full Life

You never know what you're going to find out there in nature. Yesterday, as Manny and I watched from inside, Leo bolted back and forth past the back door with something in his mouth. Whatever it was, he knew the only thing better than clenching it in his jaw was taunting Manny with it.

And, there's nothing that gets Manny leaping off his fat ass faster than the sight of Leo with something in his mouth. So out he went, jumping all over the much taller, leaner, and agile Leo, trying to grab the prize. Cancer be damned, Leo was enjoying the glorious moment, savoring the delicious opportunity to torment his chubby companion without even making so much as a tooth mark in what appeared to be a bagel.

A bagel? What the hell was a bagel doing in the backyard. I would have expected a bunny or a squirrel or maybe a frozen tennis ball, but a bagel? Could this be why Manny is so fat? Is some good Samaritan passing by our fence and tossing delicacies to quiet my barking dogs? I drop lip glosses and dollar bills and other small objects out of my pockets with astonishing regularity, but I think I'd notice something as large as a bagel. Yep, must be some anonymous donor. Maybe it's the mysterious texter who sent me a message yesterday, telling me something I already knew. I thought about responding, asking why no cream cheese.

Come to think of it, strange things have been happening in the house as well. I could swear a few light bulbs have been replaced, once missing items of clothing have reappeared, and my toilet, which I had just about given up on after countless trips to the Home Depot, inexplicably started flushing with abandon. If it weren't for the fact that, despite my silent prayers, my divorce continues to drag on indefinitely with no end in sight, I'd believe in miracles.

On balance, it's probably a good thing the dogs can't talk, at least not in a language humans can understand. Some mysteries are best left unsolved.

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