I also tend to steer clear of things that, though they might be of great interest, seem threatening, like other women's blogs. Especially in the "mommy blog" genre; I live in fear of reading something written by some other neurotic middle aged woman, someone who shows herself to be wittier, more clever, far more insightful, and possessed of a far more sophisticated turn of phrase. Hey, stranger things have happened.
So this morning, as I sat with my older daughter (a rare treat, thank you NATO protestors) munching on bagels and half listening to the Today Show, I heard the dreaded term "mommy blogger" and raced for the mute button on the remote. "STOP!" My daughter was clearly not as engrossed in her "work" as she pretended. "Don't you know who that is?" Well, of course I know who that is. No idea actually. I bought myself a little time. I correctly identified the sickeningly sweet Ann Curry and some nondescript hot blond about to discuss a blog which was unfairly pulling thousands of readers away from mine.
On closer inspection, I noticed the caption indicated the blog was about couponing. Totally different audience, not a competitor. Low brow shit, stuff I couldn't even come up with if I had half my brain removed. I told my daughter we could watch. "It's Kate Gosselin, mom." I know she was thinking you idiot, but she was discreet about it. Kate? With the eight? The woman whose made zillions by airing her brood's dirty laundry? I had two questions. Why the fuck would she need coupons, and what did she do with her old face? It's not that I remember exactly what she looked like, but I was quite sure I had never seen this woman with the puffed out apple cheeks, perfectly arched eyebrows, and plump lips before. Except maybe in a drawing in a plastic surgeon's office. But I've never been in a plastic surgeon's office -- not even for a date. I won't even go into the long perfect blond locks framing the waxy face. I know hair grows, but in my experience, not like that.
Back to the coupons. I started to get concerned; maybe this was some stiff competition after all. Might people go straight to Kate, bypassing all my unique and probing analysis. I listened closely when Ann announced she had discovered something quite fascinating from Kate's blog. Apparently, an in-store coupon for Target (Tar-zhay) was different from one offered on-line. Mon dieu. OMFD!
Shit. I'm hangin' up my keyboard. I'm getting some hair extensions and botox injections. And I'm buying some scissors and digging through the recycling bin for all those fliers I've tossed so I can start doing something productive with my days.
You're on quite a roll with your last two titles. Very clever!!
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