Some folks seem appalled that New York Yankees star (and hunk) Derek Jeter sends his one night stands off alone in a limousine with an autographed baseball. I don't know. It sure beats bus fare and a pat on the ass. At least those gals arrive home with some bragging rights. Heck, I brag when one of my dates picks up the tab for my Big Mac and gets my name right. Or close. Toss in some fries and a shake and I'm downright dewy eyed as I sit down to change my Facebook status to "Smitten." I can't even imagine what I'd do if I got to ride in a limo with one of the guy's balls in my pocket.
Actually, I kind of like the idea of a door prize, a keepsake to make the memory of it all seem a little less dreary. An engraved stethoscope? A chewed up pen? An embossed legal pad? 
Sure, a baseball would be cool, but let's face it, I'm dating Jews these days, so I don't think I can really count on any sports paraphernalia. If I make it past a second date with one of them I'll definitely start setting my sights a bit higher -- jewelry, maybe, a diamond, perhaps. For now, though, the only diamonds I can expect to see are in the form of a little blue pill. 
Sure, a baseball would be cool, but let's face it, I'm dating Jews these days, so I don't think I can really count on any sports paraphernalia. If I make it past a second date with one of them I'll definitely start setting my sights a bit higher -- jewelry, maybe, a diamond, perhaps. For now, though, the only diamonds I can expect to see are in the form of a little blue pill. Well, it doesn't hurt to dream, does it? I'd give anything for a roll in the hay with Derek, a ride in a private limousine, and a souvenir baseball. Frankly, for a roll in the hay with Derek, I'd settle for the pat on the ass and bus fare.
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