The New Math

An elderly gentleman walked by the table where I celebrated my birthday with friends, and handed me a two dollar bill. I felt uncomfortable, accepting money from anybody, but I thanked him profusely and tucked the bill in my wallet, right next to the torn half of a twenty dollar bill I've carried around for years.

A two dollar bill is, theoretically and actually, worth two dollars. No more, no less. But it is not the same. Combined into a single greenback, this two dollars will buy me nothing, but it will acquire and retain immeasurable value as it remains, crisp as the day I received it, in my wallet. It will trigger memories of a celebration with friends, of a carefree evening, of a random and unexpected act of generosity by a stranger. It will be, too, a small safety net, always there if I am penniless and desperate, say, for a diet Coke from the McDonald's drive-thru.

My half-twenty is decidedly less valuable, worth nothing unless, of course, it is reunited with its other half. Not bloody likely. Sure, it triggers memories of long ago celebrations with friends and random acts of, if not generosity, recklessness, but I would never presume to pass it off as something of value. It is worth less, certainly, than my new two dollar bill, less even than two -- or ten -- of the crumpled singles buried deep in the pocket of an old coat, or collecting crumbs in the bowels of my purse. It is equivalent to, at best, a lump of coal.

We are living in an age of false equivalencies, a world in which human beings might no longer be viewed as equal but bad behavior is, no matter how egregious or how often repeated, depending on your side of the aisle. Suffice it to say that I think 45's history of sexual assaults, though appalling, are not, by any stretch of the imagination, the reason he should not be president. It is, more broadly, his contempt for norms, his contempt for the law, his contempt for basic decency that make him uniquely unqualified. (Not to mention his ignorance and lack of experience.) This is not to say that I am in favor of forced kisses or uninvited touching in any situation -- be it a frat house or the halls of Congress or any place in between. Not by a long shot.

I hope that the result of the exploding "me too-ism" will be re-education -- of girls, and boys, and employers, and employees, and politicians, and constituents. I hope that the result will not be wasteful side shows and disproportionate punishments and the re-prosecution and re-litigation of past wrong doing. Some lines can never be crossed -- pedophilia and abuse of power spring to mind -- but with the floodgates now thrown open for all sorts of painful revelations, it is time to look forward, and to advocate policies that are color blind, gender blind, economic status blind, and, most importantly, politically blind.

I am about as likely to spend the crisp two dollar bill as I am to attempt to pass the half twenty off as a ten. But I take some comfort in knowing it's there, and that if I really need to, I can. That, to borrow a phrase from The Indigo Girls, is the power of two.

Chase all the ghosts from your head

I'm stronger than the monster beneath your bed

Smarter than the tricks played on your heart

We'll look at them together then we'll take them apart

Adding up the total of a love that's true

Multiply life by the power of two.

Indigo Girls, Power of Two